SUNYANZI } A PERFECT DAY

Sunday, December 17, 2006

n now abt yz.... btw.. this is my 2nd new opost so ppl hu is acy\tually reading my blog can check out the XENA POST TOO!!
her new style is so bloody pretty lah!! veh girl... guess every girl has to grow up... but tis is nt the pt...
tis is quite interesting lah ( to me) n guess i want to share...lol
recently as u all know yz went to capitol n became colleagues wif jolin. and TADAH... tabloid's dream cum true. they start spinning tales abt bitching and animosity btwn the 2. if u are clear headed, u wuld probably know they had been gd frens since yr 2000.....
then there is tis report tat totally gt her pissed off.... normally she will shrug these things off... but tis time they gt her mad...lol. they say tat yz dun wanna go jolin concert cos she dun like jolin n is 'jealous' of her... and they say tat yz said it herself. then BAM... yz dun like ppl shoving stuff into her mouth.... so she was pissed.
she posted a reply on the capitol forum... titiled 'the crap abt me and jolin'... dun tink i wanna post it here, cos capitol actually tore the post down..... causing outrage among the fans u actually say the post....
i saw thw original post somewhere else.... it is really what i cally a "honest" reflection of their relationship. she said somthing like, sure she n jolin were nt best of buds n tat she will nt stick a limb out for her but they had a good thig going on and tat theyrespected and ecouraged each other. and in a very polite way... telling the tabloids to piss off...

capitol tore the post down without an explaination at 1st. and ppl start yelling abt freedom of speech n stuff (including me)... they a frew days later they post a reply saying tat tis is for yz's best interest n they had yz's permission...blah blah blah... n then pl start feeling sorry n apologised for being so rude.....lol....

kids... lol... we are totally being played. so willingly.... we accept any explaination. i still think they shld nt pull yz's post down... i mean if she po it up in the 1st place she will have to answer for her actions... in some way.... hey.. dun get me wrong... i still love her all the same. but in a way, the media has no integrity when it cums to news n sales n cash. thank god for the good music. the music industry is so ugly in a way tat u wonder if all the songs abt love have some kind of formula... n they jus make use of our lack of music knowledge to exploit us.

it seems tat we cannot look deep into anything anymore... no matter hoe beautiful a flower is, the main function is to decieve an unsuspecting bee into becoming a tool to pass its pollens. all the acts of kindness... are they genuine?? is god even real??
i guess all ppl mus learn to take things at face value. the human soul at its core is : survival. the ultimate theory of the stongest survive... any beauty in anything is tainted by the blunt truth of its original objective......
haiz....
OVER N OUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 12:25 PM }

yoz!!! get ready for a bloody long post ppl...... i need to blog more sia...lol. n stilll no tag boad...lol...
k.... naturally... this post will mostly be abt xena.... like duh.....

in case u dunno... for the past month, i have dedicated almost all of my time on the com to the sole purpose of watching XENA:THE WORRIOR PRINCESS on youtube...... the routine wuld be open 3 windows of youtube and one window of tv.com.....the youtube windows will be for loading and watching xena and tv.com to know which is the next ep to watch....
freaky stuff, but true...lol. why am i writing these stuff, becos i need closure.guess all of u dunno tat in the end, xena died. like completely staying dead... tis is nt the 1st time xena and gabby died, but they axed the show b4 xena could cum bac, so theoratically, xena is truely, resting in peace. n gabrielle(xena's 'sidekick') now has to travel alone.
what bother most fans was tat after all the tok abt forgiveness, redemption n love blah blah blah..... xena died to pay for her past mistake... n what's worst... this time it was an ACCIDENT!!

XENA"S CLASSROOM: fyi, xena was a really mean person n killed alot of ppl, she then met hercules hu made her change. she then went o a jorney across the land to do good n find redemption along the way . n on her journey, she met gabrielle hu became her 'soulmate...

so... only in death, could justice be found....total BS!! so blood can only be paid by blood?? totally revoking the morals of the whole series.... but i guess this all happened cos they have to axe the series due to some management decisions.... f--k them......

i feel that X:WP is truelly a very underrated show.... the quality of writing n execution is breath-taking.... u will be surprised at the depth of the cheracters and story. the setting is in new zealand(LOTR remamber) n the costumes are graet. i bet many of us watched tis series when we were littke n had no real recollection of it.... hey, if channel 5 shows it on tv in those days... it has to be pretty big in the world. if u have enjoyed it then, watch the whole thing now... it wuld be so worthed it..... if if if u only have time for 1..... which is truely so so nt enough.... watch 'been there, done tat"... a comedy ep... jus to see if u get the xena humor... well if u dun get it, guess this series is nt for u.... some ppl jud dun like tongue-in-cheek humor, they get all serious when xena messed with the greek myjths and jumps abt the timeline n nt to forget, defy death and gravity.... but hey.. wats a fantasy wihout outragious imagination. n of cos... the eye candy....LOL. this guy which is a god to many, uploaded the whole freaking series.... god bless him.....

did u guys know tat there are sucj things as a XENA convention....lol.. it is basically a gathering for ppl hu love to watch xena. the stars of the show will also attend teh conventions and like chat.... they had 1 in aus in jan 2006... ALOT OF PPL WENT...lol.... saw it on youtube. see a show with such following aft 6 yrs is sure something to check out....

another very surprising discovery is tat tis show has a huge fanbase consisting of lesbians...LOL. its mostly cos they find affirmation in the relationship btwn xena and gabby. well it all depends on one's perspective. to me they are NT LOVERS... they are trully 'soulmates'. they wemt thru life n death. gabby;s daughter killed xena's son.... n xena killed her daughter....( btw tis is becos gabby's daughter is the incarnation of pure evil). yet their friendship has the strength to finally allow them to find forgiveness.....awww.... tis is just one of the many times they have to forgive each other...lol. gabby jus keeps screwwing up xena's perfect plans. yes, they do keep saying 'i love u' n ' u are my life' n 'u show me the way' n yah the 'even in death i will always be with u" awww.....*tear**..... but friends can say tat too.... oo. n they kiss... but nt for love reasons.. mostly they do it to save each other's life... like a sleeping beauty kind of kiss. i always believe tat one's heart can have more then just 1 person. every intense relation ship can be plationic.. meaning without the sex....

wat i have learn aft watching xena is tat life's a bitch, we are always surrounded by ppl trying to get a piece of u . u could either walk away or stand n fight these ppl. make every decision with the ppl u love in ur mind... to do wat is rite. walking away require the same amunt of courage fighting does.... so wat will xena do.....

wow... what better way to find closure then to whine in my blog....lol.. nt will be abt yz...LOL... wat a life....lol.....

{ A PERFECT DAY : 11:30 AM }

Thursday, November 16, 2006

i shall replace moi tagboard asap.....
lol... i am studying history.... haiz.... sadness.... at least all the o levels shit is coming to an end.
overview of how i did... i really cannot tell... i mean the papers are WIERD... they dun make sense to me lah!! logically speaking it means i am dead lo..... but i really cannot tell. its nt as if i cannot do, but i am nt confident. aiya, dun care lah.... the most i go some shit skool n my life would be totally spun out of control as i would be away frm the ppl i know n my future will be filled wif uncertainty n bleakness as it seems tat since u cum to dhs u shld go to the top 5 jc but since i may flop tis has become a unreachable goal.... O THE HOPELESSNESS!! lol.. i love drama....
since i am the chairperson... i muz write a speech to be addressed to the skool during graduatuion. i sat on my toilet bowl n tink n tink.. i really dunno wat to say. everything seem to jus hang on the edge of ur tongue. u dun wanna sound cliche n boring but u dun hav anything to say tat may cos any impact, may it be as big as a ripple. i dun hav the words, the oral skills, all i have is the heart lo at best. i mean the skool will be gone, the uniform will totally be changed and everybody scattered to their various jcs.... wat can u say abt such ugly future prospects. wat can i say to the cls?? n i dun wanna cry in front of the skool lah, i may lor!! n in the back of my mind i am tinking abt the cold war.... i tink i need to watch some XENA!! lol
haiz... yz now preparing her new album... so veh quiet till nxt yr march leh!! i wanna die.... tell u a secret... whenever i start a paper, i will tell myself " u muz excel like yz!!" i know it sound sick n stupid lah, but at least it helps me release some stress n giv me some kind of confidence. i now underatand y they are called idols. fans 'worship' them, n see them as role models. n in times where some form of spiritual support is needed they become forms of motivation! i am nt jking. i read alot of ppl telling how they tink abt how xin ku yz is doing wat she is doing then we muz do the same. well at least her influence is positive. i guess its a phase, but teenager dun go for religion.... n many a times u dun really 'look up to god' as a role model. if u do, gd for u!! so.... yah, another one of my attempts to justify my support for yz. but wat i say is true.... nt only me use yz as a 'support'. tats y being a public figure, ur behaviour muz always be at ur best, its a civic duty......
i learnt a very impt thing frm yz....lol... dun mind me...lol.... i learnt to always think abt urself, be centered n nt lose urself. in daily life, we always do wat ppl want us to do no matter if it makes us happy or nt. we are always giving n giving, n one day u will definitely dry up. i learnt tat aft everything u do... always check tat tis is wat I want, i am happy doing it. then u will be a happy person...... its nt selfish thinking. only when u are happy, u can spread the joy to ppl. be urself!! for example a singer doing albums... u dun jus produce songs tat the market wants, n giv n giv blindly... saying " wat u want i jus giv lah". u shld produce the songs u want to show ppl, songs tat u want ppl to listen to n say " this is wat i have, hope u like it"!! lol... another of my wierd examples.... go be happy ppl... be urself....
OVER N OUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 8:10 AM }

Friday, November 03, 2006

yo... lol... SURPRISE!!! lol... i call this 'practicing for my english paper'.....
i always tot tat i can okay jus by myself... living in my own world.... doing my stuff.... but i guess i am jus trying to comfort my self lah. u see...i realise tat i am a very obsessed person... when i am into something... I AM INTO tat somthing..... i was never into studying lah sadly. so though i shld be studying... i am doing alot of pointless net surfing to feed my obsessions. i always wonder y... guess i found the ans.
cos nobody around me like the stuff i like!! i hav to get online to look for ppl hu are like as crazy as myself.... n its sad!!... i look at some of the stuff they po on9 n i would be like...'she's crazy'... but to say the truth... i feel the some way sometimes... i may nt be as obsessed, but i am still like 'one of them'...lol...
when i realise 'the truth'... i have tis empty feeling... lol... like 'i dun want tis man...' will i be like tis all my life.... alone.... living in my own world... doing my own stuff.... its nt okay.
maybe its the sudying alone thing.... studying makes u feel so alone.... but i dun wanna stdy wif other ppl oso.... so its all my fault lah....lol... the irony....
when u have an empty feeling inside u... u would tend to fill the emptiness wif mindless things, like tv or obsessions... wooh... sounds like i have an empty feeling...LOL... nt funny....
so as i was doing my stuff on youtube... watching stuff.... i gt really obsessed wif stuff tat ellen degeneres do... the stand up comedy n stuff... she is super funny lah.... then BAM!! i found out tat she is like gay... n tis made me super obsessed...lol...
then it made me rmb abt the conversation i had wif diane abt lesbians n gays... some ppl really think it is sick n wrong... i rmb saying to her tat i dun feel gays are wrong jus tat i dun wan anybody ard me to be one.... then it hit me... actually i dun mind if anyone ard me is gay.... i mean it is perfectly FINE!! then i realise i said tat cause diane really really dun like gays... so i said tat so as nt to make her freaked out by me....
ppl always wants to bland in... be the majority... so we say n do things tat are 'right' even if u may feel otherwise... but there is nothing wrong to be different. i am reading n seeing alot of gay stuff.... i mean the pt of views n some films which by the way are veh healthy n educational lah.... i realise tat they are jus being hu they are.... u cant help it but like the same sex mah... like some ppl jus cannot be vegetarians cos they like meat... if u get wat i mean.... we are always shooting things down if they are different frm the 'norm'. jus like homosexuals are wrong cos the are different. i am nt a veh religious person... so i am speaking in a very 'non religious' way. it says in a film... a line says...' how can something tat comes frm so much love ever be wrong'....amen to tat!...
so r u ppl wierded out by me...lol... i did some soul searching n.... i tink i am straight....lol.... on9 i came across alot of ppl hu claim tat they are gays.... honestly... i dun believe half of them... i tink most of then are jus saying tat jus cos they think some actress or gal is hot n WALAH...IM GAY... some ppl are jus saying to be ' cool'... i tink tis is very very very unfair to ppl tat are really different(i mean gays) n are living their lives in shame n secrecy.... coming out for lets say a 40 yr old lesbian is like the most difficult thing to do... overnite u could lose all ur 'friends'....
does sexual orientation really matters in a friendship.... its jus sad lah... looking into gay stuff really open my eyes to humanity... we can be so ugly, yet we can create love tat is so beautiful...
so imho... i dun mind gays jus like i dun mind other races.... i mean we are humans... learn to love somemore!! peace....
OVER N OUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 11:05 PM }

Sunday, August 13, 2006

its 1++ am now n there is skool tomolo wif chem mock in the same afternoon..... wat a life... this weekend suck man.... i was still happily jogging wif sx on fri then BAAM!! i have a flu the next day..... i totally damn knocked out lah.... i am like a walking tap... i wasted the whole sat sleeping n the next morning i went to tuition( yes, its this mornng). i was dying.... we were doing vectors n i mixed the whole chapter up wif matrices.... i totally dunno how to do... I DUNNO HOW!!! i tink the teacher thinks i dun wanna do or wat... but i really DUNNO!! freaks me out to think tat i oni have two weeks left n i cannot do a single question of vectors.... i ate a clerasil...n slept for 4 hours...lol... try passing tomolo's chem mock man.... i am doing the chi n eng hw now,...lol... i doin the ODAC essay...LOL.... i tink i can go skool tomolo....kao....
i dun wanna go skool nowadays.... its like a waste of my time... cause everyday u go skool... u would be tinking abt the stuff u shld study aft skooll... but aft skool... u r super tired... then u slp.... whooo!! the cycle repeats.... this is my cycle lah..... i am so doomed!!
i dunno how ppl pon skool... i can nvr do it.... i dunno y.... guess i am too su la to do it... or its jus nt in my system....
i think complete empathy can never exist in this world.... u may empatise with tat person... but u xan never understand wat he ar she is going thru... like O lels ppl cannot know wat IP ppl n stressing abt... n vice verser....so when some1 says 'i inderstand wat u are going thru' should u believe tat person?? but if no one in the world can understand u... wun u feel so lonely??....emmmmm...... pointless.....
OVERNOUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 10:35 AM }

Thursday, August 03, 2006

i truely thought tat i was quite smart before.... BEFORE.... well... i get grades tat made me happy. sec 3 was like the best yr lah.... but since the start of sec 4 it has been a downhill ride all the way.
i dunno y... i jus cannot get things to work out right, no matter academically or socially or anywhere-ly. i am just a big basketcase....
i dun hav the drive, the brains, the attitude. when everyone else is pia-ing, it turn me off even more. i hate it when ppl wanna study together, or ask me to go out to study. its not cause i dun like them or wat... its jus tat i am very turned off by my lack of focus compared to the rest of the ppl. i would only be a hindrence. maybe its wat my father said lah.... i would never make it into a gd jc. or any jc....
i got like 47/80 for physics paper 2 mock exam. its a veh veh easy paper. even if i get full marks for paper1 n practicle... i cannot get an A. says alot about my prospects of going to a jc doesnt it.
in this yr... i have learnt a quality abt myself. i dun wan to let ppl see me fail at something. if i am sad abt something tat i didnt do well, n someone ask me if im okay, i would get veh worked up n snap at tat person. its a ego thing. i would tink they r laughing at me... r they??

todays chem prac is oso another wreck...lol... 2 people broke a full bottle of silver nitrate n a couple of people,including me broke test tubes....n when mrs ong was doing a demo.. she drop the test tube!! i tink cause we today use diff chem lab... so abit suay....lol
sorry ner abt pang sheing u....sorry... i didnt know gt the jc tok....
guess my life is a basketcase....
OVER N OUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 4:10 AM }

Monday, July 31, 2006

i jus hav to get it out of my system... i dunno y i am so affected... but i am.
fine, i xing shang sun yan zi....i admit i may sometimes get too excited n force ppl to see stuff.... i may jus get too 'obsessed'. i'm sorry... n yes... ppl say stuff, but i know they are joking, they may or may not mean it, its okay, i know it a one-sided thing. i willingly or thick-skinly insist tat ppl see or know some stuff. its jus tat i hav to hav some place to release the 'energy'.
its okay to say stuff, eg. 'she too think, she no good' its all ppl's own perspective, i respect tat.
but please, jus dun bloody tell me tat ' she dun even know you, y u like her so much'.i have heard this comment countless times, i am sick of hearing it. do i even care if she knows me or not. isit my objective? isit y the reason i say or do actions tat seem illogical to some? NO!! F**KING NO! its a very sincere n simple admiration, dun make it sound so cheap. i jus veh bs tat ppl think of it tat way. sometimes, ppl like me dun need anything ' material' in return. i jus want to in return get good music, good memories. dun dirty it....
OVER N OUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 5:56 AM }

Monday, July 24, 2006

it has been a long time since i blogged...(yes i am slacking, shoot me...) i have never appreciated how blogging had helped me get rid of the bad feelings. i mean... without excersice these days and constant worrying about exams, one would implode under the pressure.
believe it or not.. even the most slack ppl can be worrying abt the Os.... today, this guy frm NTU came to tell us stuff abt future career prospects.... all his talking made the whole thing sound so easy, as if going into teriery education is such an easy feat for dunman high ppl. are dhs ppl tat clever? adding on to the pressure of studying to get a job, is the need to do well for the skool. for eg failing my standing broad jump.... to me, its like wad he hell am i doing lah....jump n jump.. fail then fail lah! but to mr ang... failing my NAFA concerns the skool's ranking n stuff.... to eveything we do, there would always be a social stigma, a responsibility as a human.... well, it sucks.
unless you have achieved great things, such as earn a billion or smthing, you would always be the small fry, the one that has to go with the rules, teh bottom of the food chain. you dun have the freedom to say" i dun wanna study anymore!!" it is childish to think tat we have any freedom in a democratic world. we oni have the freedom to think, but we do not have the freedom to do.... this is the reason that i came up on 'why i am studying'....lol. you are doing what others want you to, nt wat u wanna do....LIFE SUCKS!!
whoooo..... done complaining!!
if i keep on ranting abt i dun wanna study for others n freedom n stuff, it would be lies. i wanna study, n i am really doing it for myself. it is no harm trying to escape the brutal fact by trying to block and deny its existance. if i dun study, i die. life is a very lonely journey.... so is studying. ppl can tell u wat to do, but it is still up to you to decide. many ppl dun wanna admit tat they are really studying for ourselves. we jus keep coming up with excuses to slack, one of the most common one is tat we do not want to study in the first place or tat me not having any knowledge abt the world is not anybody else's problem. its okay to be dellutional once in a while, but i dun wanna be a small fry anymore!! the oni way to get to the top is to study!! see!! its for yourself!!
i want to be a TIGER!! ROAR!! JIA YOU N PIA FOR Os!!!!!
OVER N OUT

{ A PERFECT DAY : 5:51 AM }